My Boy and A New Chapter…
Today my boy started high school. Let me go back a little bit first. When his voice started changing and he was growing taller than me, I dragged my feet acknowledging him growing up. Hair under his arms, girl friends UGH I was NO. We laugh about it now. KC has always been my buddy. We did everything together. I promised myself with him I’d stay connected and we did. We would go to the beach, movies, shopping, hiking etc. I knew the day would come where you would go from my buddy to a young man.
Back to his first day starting high school. I say to him, you know we have to get a picture of your first day going into high school. The day will never come again. Never an easy thing getting a picture of him.
He is nervous. I am nervous. We are driving to school and talking about how being nervous in normal and natural. We sit in the parking lot waiting (we both like to be prepared and on time) so of course we arrive early. We had extra time and FaceTimed Jade, his sister to give him some extra encouragement. Time had come and he is getting out of the van, I motioned to him a fist bump and said you got his. He smiled and walked away.
And there it was, it hit me… tears started to well up in my eyes watching him walk on campus of school. It came out of no where and I told myself just feel it. Don’t hold back. That moment for me was the transition of my little boy, stepping into him being a young man. He was nervous and there was nothing as a mom that I could do other than tell him ‘you got this.’ I sat in my van and tears ran down my face.
We all have our moments and mine came when I least expected it. It was beautiful. I was mixed with so many emotions and the strongest one was LOVE. A part has to die for a new part to be born and that is the beauty of life. I embrace the new. The transition from my little boy to the young man he is becoming. I know I won’t do it perfectly. I’m going to lean into this new chapter. And I know the future holds many more new chapters.
I pick him up, he runs and jumps on top of my van. Climbs on the roof, head is hanging over looking at me upside down and says Hi. And we discuss how his day was with him looking at me upside down talking through my window. Man I love him. He makes me smile. He is certain to make me get more gray hair.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly but I will let you see me, I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you. – Brene Brown.