Doing Life Together…
I have been thinking about friendships and thought about two stories I wanted to share.
The Redwood Trees…
In the book The crossroads of Should and Must… Find and Follow your passion. There was a part in it about Redwood Trees…
“These trees are strong and beautiful, lifting skyward. But what you can not see when you stand at the foot of this tree is what’s happening underneath. A red wood can grow 350 feet tall, the roots are only, on average, about 10 feet deep. This is because they spread their roots outward, reaching for other redwood trees. Their roots intertwine under the ground and they hold each other up. A redwood tree cannot stand on its own, and neither can we. ”
I loved that thought about redwood trees. I think I loved it because I was a woman that liked to do it alone. I was very much keep to myself and I don’t need help. Slowly more and more I have opened my heart and realized the strength in not doing it alone, in allowing others to help. We are stronger together than alone.
We all need a move-the-body friend. When I read about move-the-body-friend that Brene Brown wrote about, I thought YES! We all need a friend like that and I want to be that kind of friend to someone.
Excerpt from an article from Brene Brown:
“When we’re looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, is able to bend and, most of all, embraces us for our strengths and struggles. We need to honor our struggle by sharing it with someone who has earned the right to hear it. When we’re looking for compassion, it’s about connecting with the right person at the right time about the right issue.
We need a move-a-body friend.
A year or two ago, my good friend called, and as soon as I said, “Hello!” she said, “You’re a friend who would move a body.” I could tell by her voice that she was serious. I lowered my voice and whispered, “What does that mean?”
She said that one of her sister’s close friends had called her sister and asked her to help her move her mom. The friend’s mother, who was apparently only invited to visit once a year, struggled with alcoholism. When my friend’s sister’s friend came home from work, her mother was passed out drunk on the sofa. It was 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and the kids would be busting through the front door any minute. She called because she physically needed help moving her mother.
I let out a deep sigh and said, “Yes. You could definitely call me.”
Then she said one of the kindest things that anyone has ever said to me. She explained: “I’d call you because you would come right away, give me a hug, never look judgmental or disapproving or disgusted. And then you’d say, ‘Let’s do this.’
“The next day, when you saw my mom at the park or the soccer game, you’d be kind and respectful.
“And most of all, it would never cross my mind to say something to you like ‘Please don’t tell anyone.’ You don’t do that.”
I thought about that conversation for days. I thought about how lucky I am to have a couple of move-a-body friends in my life. I thought about how crazy it is that most of us can steamroll over these friends while we work to win the approval and acceptance of people who really don’t matter in our lives—people whom we’d never call when we were in a real struggle. When we’re in the shame storm.
About a week after this call, I thought I’d pay the kindness forward, and I called my friend Dawn. As soon as she answered, I said, “You’re a friend who would help me move a body.” She replied, “Holy crap. Did you kill somebody?” I laughed. “No, not today.” Then I told her how much she means to me and how grateful I am to find shelter in her friendship.”
All this talk about friends, call your friend and let them know you love them. If you have a move-a-body friend give them an extra squeeze because those are not easy to come by. Let them know you are a move-a-body kind of friend. Sometimes we think they know how you feel but everyone loves to hear it.
#holdeachotherup #youmakelifebrighter #youmatter #bevulnerable #togetherisbetter
May you surround yourself with those that lift you up!
When you finish reading this post and go about your day, I want you to remember this… When you walk into a room with anybody, know that YOU are special, know you mean something to this world, your feelings matter, your story matters and I believe in YOU!
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